Too many people facing Alzheimer’s don’t know what’s happening and they don’t want to know, they’re in denial. That’s the wrong way to go. You need to find an Alzheimer’s support group and follow the advice of those families that have been there.

I saw so many things that were done wrong in the nursing home. The nurses and aids are trying, but they have had no training in the care of Alzheimer’s patients. For this reason, my husband and I have stayed on the Eden board of the nursing home, after mama died, to try to help get them educated and these people better care. Hudson is one of two Eden homes in Arkansas, that try to make the home more like a real home, with dogs, cats, birds, fish, outside animals. They have added a new chapel, since mama died and she would have loved that. She would have actually been in church.

I watched the aids often, as they changed her diapers or her bed or turned her over and they had no clue how much that scared her. She didn’t understand why they were doing this to her. Any sudden moves or roughness scares them. They would get two aids, one on each side and they would take the cross sheet and toss her in the air and to the side, to turn her over. They would roll her over and put a pillow behind her to keep her from turning back. I know they had to turn her, but they need a more gentle way. She couldn’t say anything. They would try to force food in her mouth when she didn’t want it, she would shake her head and close her mouth tight and try to spit it out. They would trick her in to saying something and then force the food in. I told them to quit force feeding her, she knew if she wanted it or not. They thought they were doing right by forcing food in but you NEVER force the Alzheimer’s patient to eat. There are good aids and nurses that just don’t know and that try hard and really care. I have seen some aids pick mama up like a baby and love on her. But none really have Alzheimer’s training. We have gotten the nursing home to have the aids and nurses be required to read Frank Boyles book about his wife and Alzheimer’s. And watch films on Alzheimer’s. I know that we can’t change a lot, but if we can just change a little, it will help my feelings.

One thing I learned in this is that you NEED to be there, everyday, all times of the day, when they don’t know your coming. No one knew when I was going to show up, and I still found things I didn’t like sometimes. There was one aid that used mama’s room for a hideout and place to sit in mama’s chair and watch TV when she was supposed to be working. We reported her. I feel so sorry for the people that have no family and no one to make sure they are taken care of. Mama was in one of the best nursing homes around.

I told them they had no idea what she could hear or understand. I knew it was no telling what they said in front of her because they thought it didn‘t matter and she couldn't understand or hear. I had caught so much when I was there. I spent hours and hours, a day there, trying to be there and protect her. I stayed on them so much they hated to see me coming, I'm sure, but they took better care of mama because of it. People told me I was crazy, but I just had to take care of her as she took care of me.

I hope that anyone going through this battle with Alzheimer’s will be helped by reading mama’s story. It’s very hard going and it’s VERY long. Some people can have Alzheimer’s for 20 years. I believe my mama probably had it that long, but at first, we just didn’t know it. BUT, in looking back on things, we can see tell-tale signs. It’s a slow death. I pray for a cure soon, so no one will have to go through this awful battle anymore. Thanks for coming and reading about my mama.

THE END