Doc was coming today and we went down. Doc started to sing for everyone and play his guitar. He pulled mama’s chair right up by him real close and she heard him singing and she knew him. He sang for her ,all the songs she loved, and she would try to sing along with him , even if she didn’t know the words. She would try to clap her little hands. He sang a long time out there and when he was worn out ,we went to mama’s room. Marion was so thrilled he came in the room, and wanted him to sing something for her. This little lady had no visitors and loves music, like mama does. She clapped her hands and tried to sing with Doc ,too. Then she said, “I forgot for a little bit, that I was hurting“. She had the biggest smile on her face. She never got out of that room, never heard or saw anyone that’s there and she laughed for the first time, in a long time. Doc told her he would come back the next day and sing for her again and she was so happy. It was so sad, how starved she is for someone to talk to her and sing to her, just some company.

One of Doc’s boys put a hat on mama’s head and she didn’t understand she could take it off and she wore it till I told her she could take it off and she tried and took off her glasses and then I told her to put them back on and she put them on upside down. It was funny and we had to laugh. She said, something’s wrong with my glasses and we fixed them for her. I took pictures that day, of mama and Marion having fun and laughing and just being happy and they are some of my favorite pictures to look back on. Neither of them ever had much that made them happy. Doc did come back the next day and sang again for mama, Marion and then for all the residents. Mama sat as close to him as she could and loved every minute of the music. All the rest of our family came down and we all visited and I took more of those cute pictures of mama when she didn’t know I was. We had a good time that day. The next time I came, I asked mama about how she liked Doc’s singing and she said, I didn’t hear Doc, when was he here, why didn’t I hear him sing. OH, it’s bad.

Blake, Irv and I went to see mama, and Blake asked her if she knew his name and she said no and he asked if she knew Irv and she said, that’s Patty’s husband and then he asked if she knew her name and she couldn’t think of it. She sat along time and then said, “My name is Dorothy Wilma Smith.” That was her maiden name, a long time ago. She said Melissa was Melissa’s granddaughter. She got everyone wrong today but it didn’t upset her like it usually does. She laughed when we did. She just didn’t know. Then Blake was on the ground, burning leaves with his magnifying glass and he had on a red shirt. Mama said,” What’s that red bag over there?” He said, “Mommo, it’s me?” She said, “Where?” I told her the big red bag, was Blake.

Then on July 17, 2006, mama had another bad stroke. Bless her little heart. She was taken to the hospital. It affected her left side, eyes and speech. They say they can’t do any more for her and would send her back in a couple of days. I guess we are just waiting for the big one. She has no feeling in her hand ,that we can tell. Her arm, wrist and hand just hang there. It’s her left side and she’s left- handed, so that kinda finished her up. After this stroke, she quit wanting to eat. They did a swallow test and said she could swallow soft stuff but she didn’t want it. She started crying today several times about the shape she’s in. She doesn’t know she’s been in a nursing home for 2 and ½ years. Now she will most likely be bedridden, who knows .

We took her back to Hudson by ambulance and the residents came by and told her how much they missed her and welcomed her back and told her that they hoped she could sing for them again. Bless their hearts. That was sweet. She doesn’t have a clue who they are. The stroke affected mama’s mouth to where her bottom teeth won’t go back in. Guess it doesn’t matter right now. The next morning I called Hudson and they said, “Oh she’s up in a chair rolling in the hall,” and I said, “DO WHAT?” I couldn’t believe that. They said she was tired and went to sleep but she did eat some. They are feeding her mush and she hates it. I gave her some juice and she almost choked on it. She doesn’t swallow good at all. Her eyes watered when she tried.

I put mama on hospice and went to meet them today. They had mama up and in her chair but she looked pitiful. No teeth because it did something to her jaw and her left arm hanging there. Swallowing is hard for her and she doesn’t want the food. They tried to get her to lift her arm but she can’t. She talks in a monotone voice now, it sounds so strange. She left hand is swelled up and turning blue. I stayed till they took her to the feeding table and I can’t stand the way she looks. They feed her a bite and she spits it back out. Her eyes look only to the right. If you’re not on her right side, she can’t see you. Blake kept trying to move left and get her eyes to move but they wouldn’t. Even if we turned her head to the left, her eyes didn’t turn. Her voice is still monotone and low and she still says, “I want to go home.”

I went today to see mama and she was sitting quite and still. I tried to talk to her and she would just sit and look at her hand, like she didn’t know what it was. She didn’t acknowledge that I was there or said anything. I took her outside ‘cause they were calling Bingo and I couldn’t hear her, if she did say something. When we were out, I got her to say a little, but it’s like she’s given up. That’s something I thought I would never see in her. She’s been through so much. My phone rang and it was Carolyn ( my cousin) from Florida. She was telling me they would be here on the next Sunday. I told her I was thrilled and mama said, who’s that? She hadn’t’ said anything and I told her who it was and that they were coming to see her. She asked when she was leaving and how long did it take her to get home. I said, “Mama you live here,” and she said, “No, to Memphis.”(Where she was born)

We had gone back inside and Mama was sitting there leaning to the left, couldn’t sit up and talking so low. I got her some coffee and gave her a drink or two and she started to bring her left hand up to her mouth like she had a cup in it, but she had no cup. I watched her and gave her a drink and in a minute the hand would go up again, as if to drink. She told me she couldn’t see well cause it was so dark in there. It’s brightly lit in there. It’s so awful to watch them waste away, slow, painfully, cruelly. I prayed God would take her out of here. I had to go and when she asks how long I will be gone, I just have to say, I’ll be right back. She doesn’t remember anyway.