Hudson had a big Valentine party for the residents. Mama had 2 balloons tied to her chair but couldn’t see them. We held them in her face and said about the pretty balloons and colors and she would say, where? They had good food and crowning of the king and queen. Mama was so confused and messed up. She didn’t know anything going on. I got her a plate and where she used to eat everything, she found fault with all of it. She would make ugly faces like I was trying to poison her. Didn’t matter what it was, it tasted bad to her. The only thing she would eat was M&M’s. She kept asking Melissa what grade she was in, when she could remember who she was, that is. Beverly said that mama had a awful night and didn’t know anything. Then she asked me, why God wouldn’t let her go home and I told her I didn’t know, she would have to ask him. She told me she had so many good memories and she didn’t want to lose them. She knows she can’t remember and it’s awful. That’s weird because most Alzheimer’s people, don’t know they can’t remember but sometimes mama can, sometime. It’s easier if they don’t know. I always pat Beverly and thank her for putting up with mama ’cause she’s about ready to move out. Mama just depends on her so much. Mama asked how old she is and I told her 90 and she said’ I’m more than 100, and I said “no your 90” and she said” is that more than 100?”I said” in one month you will be 91” and she said” then I will be more than 100”. I said, ok. She said, “That sure is old.”

I had several things I had to do today and didn’t make it to Hudson. About 4pm, mama called and was having a fit. That’s one thing I wish she WOULD forget , was my phone number. I had the same number for 40 years and it was easy, 8623636. She took the phone in to the hall and asked people till she found someone to dial my number for her. She hollered she was alone, no one was with her and she hated it. She said she had been left, hadn’t had any food or drink. I guess she believes that stuff. I told her to give the phone to someone that has on a blue top and I could hear her asking people in the hall. Then one of the aids came on and I told her to please try to calm mama, let her know she wasn’t’ alone, had eaten and it was almost supper. She said she would take care of her. I knew Beverly had gone home a day early, ‘cause she had to have some sleep. Mama’s doing her in. Alzheimer’s is a cruel thing.

When I showed up the next day, mama was sitting in the hall, trying to holler at everyone, grab them and find out where Patty was. I got her and she told me how mad she was and I said, “What else is new?” We stayed a while and tried to make sense of what she said. Not an easy task. Irv was having a bad headache and I told mama that she should be glad she didn’t have headaches like Irv does. She said,” how long has he had them” and I said,” 20 years“. She thought for a minute (like that helps) and then said, “Well I didn’t know I had headaches.” I said, “Mama, you don’t have headaches and she said” yes I do, I’ve had them for 20 years”. On that note, we got up and went home. I tried to talk to Beverly but she wouldn’t talk to me. I can’t help the way mama is, I can’t shoot her.

When I went the next day, Beverly told me she had asked for another roommate, ’cause she just couldn’t stand it anymore. Mama was driving her crazy .I told her I didn’t blame her one bit and I appreciated what she has done. One of the aids came by and said” Patty, you should be ashamed not ever coming to see your mama (that was a joke). I knew what mama had been doing and how sick everyone was of hearing her.

I was sick for a whole week and Irv had to go for me. It’s the 1st of March and I walked up to mama in the hall and she didn’t know me. She said ,“No one ever comes to see me” and I said” I’m sorry.” I asked her who she wanted to come and she said,” my daughter and son in law“. She asked me if I was lonesome too and I told her no, and she said, well I am and I want to go home. Then, she just rolled off. Beverly saw her and asked her if she had seen Patty, and mama said no, and Beverly said well turn around and you might. THEN, mama saw me. It’s so strange. Tomorrow is Beverly’s moving out day. I told mama that Beverly was getting a new room and it was going to be great because her new roommate wouldn’t ever leave and go home. Who knows? We can hope it will work. We decided that we were tired of paying a phone bill and she didn't need it so we had it taken out. She never knew the difference.

It was the weirdest thing, after Beverly left, mama just forgot about her and didn’t even say anything about being in the room alone. One thing to be sure of, is you NEVER know. Mama had a cold and they were giving her medicine so maybe she was kinda doped up. They were looking for a roommate that would get along with mama and that’s hard. If they have sense, she will drive them nuts and some of the residents, we couldn’t stand cause they are worse than her, if that’s possible. I think she needs someone that stays in the bed and just is a body in there. A new aid came to get mama for the bathroom and she said,” oh you’re her daughter, I’ve heard about you” and I said,” I’m sure you have, but no telling what.” Michael came in and visited her and he couldn’t believe how much worse she was than at Christmas when he saw her. He went to see her all 3 days he was here but each time was a new day and the first time she had seen him in forever.