Today is mama’s 89th birthday party. BUT, I got a present, because Michael said he would get up and go to the hospital and let Doc go home. That gave me time to go to the nursing home and pick out her room, get her stuff from her house and put it all in her new room and go get the party stuff and gift for this afternoon. I was so glad the boys came. Michael called and said mama was sick to her stomach. I hoped that would go away. I got everything done and it was just great to have some time off. Doc and Michael entertained her, singing and playing their guitars. She loved that. I thought the hospital might object but they seemed to enjoy the music too and didn‘t say anything to us. When I got there the boys left to go eat their lunch.

Later, everyone came up and we moved her to a big room at the end of the hall and had a party. Bro Dwain came by and all the family was there. Mama got lots of gifts but couldn’t figure out why or know what they were. I had gotten her a cake with candles that she couldn’t see, and had to have help blowing out. She enjoyed herself, but didn’t have a clue it was her birthday.

Afterwards, everyone left and Michael and I were the last ones and she, of course, didn’t’ want to be left. But we left anyway and when we got home, she was on the answering machine and we couldn’t understand her. I called back to the 3rd floor and they said she wanted us (what else is new). They had her at the nurses’ station, AGAIN. She told me that she didn’t want to be put in the basement. Then Doc called and said he was back up there, and was going to sit with her awhile. I was so thankful, but told him it wouldn’t matter, nothing helps. He told her he had to drive back in the morning and he couldn’t stay up all night again but she couldn’t care less. I could hear her begging him on the phone not to leave her. That’s his first experience with her sundowners and just how bad it is and he saw what I had to deal with all the time.

Michael and I were back by 7am and the boys told her they had to go back to Missouri. They both hugged me and told me to do what I thought was best and I had their blessings. They saw in that little time, what a time I had been having for so long. They said they knew what had to be done and knew how hard it was on me. I wished they lived closer so they could help me, ‘cause they would.

After they left, mama said that she had gone to someone’s apt to sleep and the woman that stayed with her, talked on the phone all night and wouldn’t let her talk. Then she asked me who planned the party in the mountains and I said,” What party, what mountains?”

She said, “Where Doc’s band sang and Michael sang and all the other groups.” She had screwed that all up in her mind. She didn’t remember a birthday or party. She was quite for a minute, like thinking, and then said,” NOW you’re going to have to explain this, you said all the time, that I was going to the little apt around the corner from my house.”

I said,” Mama, I didn’t tell you that, we all told you that you had to go to (the nursing home) for rehab.” She said,” You NEVER told me that. I’m supposed to live by myself.”

I said,” Mama, if you could live by yourself, you could go home but you can’t.”

I’m about to go nuts. I got a wheelchair and pushed her around the halls and to the sunroom, trying to quite her. Later Blake and Irv came and Blake pushed her around. About 4:00, the sundowners kicked in and the nurse asked her if she wanted out of the chair and she said,” I don’t know, Patty, have I been in a chair?” I said, “all day.” I told her I had to go and she started her fit throwing. I’m so tired and wish I was like the rest of them and could just walk off, but I can‘t. Then she started folding the clothes and looking for her purse, which she doesn’t have, and the money she tied in the blanket, which she didn’t have. I had to go home and I fed her supper, explained what I had to do, and left. I wasn’t gone 15 minutes till she flipped and they called me back. (wouldn’t you think a nurse could handle this). Irv went back up there for me. He found her at the nurses’ station again. She was screaming, that I had said I was coming back and taking her home and Irv told her I didn’t say that, but she thought I did and was scared and the same old thing, and I called Terri and begged her to stay tonight and she came.

I’m so tired of this mess. I got back at 7am and Terri was leaving. She said mama talked forever and finally shut up or wore out and went to sleep. I went in and they were bringing her breakfast and mama wanted to know why, she was laying there with people waiting on her. She said, “I never did that before”

I said,” You never broke your hip before.”

Everyday’s a new day. Then she said,” You left me at that eating place and didn’t come back to get me.” I said,” mama, no I didn’t.”

I went and talked to the nurse who told me that as soon as I left last night, she got through eating and yelled that her daughter had left her in this eating place and she was lost and that’s why Irv found her in the nurses’ station when he came back last night. It must be awful for her to be scared all the time and lost. Alzheimer’s is so awful. We went to lunch and when we got back, she told me she thought I would never come back. She said the Nash’s came and ate with her, but no one else came and ate with them (no they didn’t). Bill came about 4 and went with me to the nursing home to check it out and we were back by 5 and Bill left. She started her night stuff, and Irv and I sat till she went to sleep and left. Tomorrow is moving day. Oh, I’m really hoping for it to get better.